The Strange, Abnormal, and Awkward Life of Elladora
by SnatchtheSnitch3
Summary: I'm Elladora Nadine Harper. But you can call me Ella, or Ellie… Or Els. Or Dora... Basically, anything except Elladora… Yeah, my name sucks, you don't have to tell me. Its pretty much the worst name ever. Anyways, my dear, imaginary person who exsists only in my mind, why don't you get comfy? I'm going to tell you a story and it might take a while...
1. Daydreaming About Hot-Bod Cousins

**Disclaimer: I'm not going to be saying this after e very chapter, because that seems a little tedious. So this goes for the whole story... All the recognizable material in this fanfiction story belongs to JKR, Scholastic Inc., and Warner Bros. 'Tis sad, but true.**

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Okay, before I get crackin' with the story (that I know you are all _dying_ to hear) let me tell you a few necessary facts about myself...

Fact #1: My name is Elladora Nadine Harper. But you can call me Ella, or Ellie… Or Els. Or Dora... Basically, anything except Elladora…

Yeah, my name sucks, you don't have to tell me. Its pretty much the worst name ever. My mum, Daphne Greengrass Harper, is a bitch. (Yes, I called my mother a bitch. Its not a lie.) She is horrible at picking out names. She named her parakeet Methuselah, for Merlin's sake! That woman needs help before she ruins someone else's life.

I guess it's not as bad as my cousin's name, though—Scorpius. When I was a toddler, and just learning to talk, I tried to say his name but I just couldn't get it. I would try so hard, but all that would come out was, "SEE-PEE-US!"

Seriously, I feel for that boy. He was already 16 (a year younger than me), and he's still being made fun of because of his name. Seriously, what kid born in the 2000's has a name like Scorpius?

Fact #2: My closest friends are the following idiots: James Potter (Hogwarts' resident prick), Fred Weasley (my sugar monkey), Dominique Weasley (the slut), Maeve Byrne (who's not Irish), Rose Weasley (The should-be-Ravenclaw) Albus Potter (the sweetest boy on the planet), and yes, Scorpius Malfoy (my stupid cousin). We're pretty much the beastliest kids in this hellhole (a.k.a. Hogwarts).

Fact #3: I can't stand James Potter (most of the time), but somehow, he's my bestest best friend... It doesn't make much sense, but, oh well...

Fact #4: I definitely am not in love with him... Really, I'm not.

So anyway, to the story... Picture this: a classroom, filled with many zoned-out teenagers... And a ghost who drones on _and on_ about things that happened a million years ago, which no one particularly cares about.

Yep, and the girl sitting in the third row from the front with the blonde hair and turquoise-ish eyes... Well, that girl, sadly, happens to be me.

And, yes, I was drooling. Don't judge me! I was bored. So bored, in fact, that I started talking to you, while the History of Magic Professor, Professor Binns, talked in his flat, monotone voice.

Who are you, anyways? Are you some creeper who is reading my thoughts or… Am I talking to myself?

I think I should leave that question unanswered. I'd probably find that I'm not as sane as I had thought. Okay… um, never mind. I'm not sane at all.

I'm quite insane, actually. Or, at least, that's what everyone tells me. They've said it so often, that maybe, I'm starting to believe them.

"Ella!" Someone called me. I decided that I was going to ignore them, so I could keep chatting with you. I think that you, my dear, imaginary person in my head, are my new bestest best friend.

"Ella!" They called again and pushed me. I yelped and fell out of my chair, oh so gracefully. "Ella, I've called you about a thousand times in the last five minutes!"

I looked up with a scowl to the offender and swore at him. "James Potter, you prick! Go fuck yourself! Don't you think that, maybe, just maybe… I WAS IGNORING YOU?!"

I think class is over.

Hopefully.

I glanced around me and found not even Binns in the room. Just me and James…

Alone.

My stomach all the sudden felt weird and my palms got sweaty. I think I'm coming down with the stomach flu or something...

He grinned easily and ruffled his hair. "No, of course not, Els. I'm James bloody Potter. No one ever ignores me." He said cockily.

Yep, that's my best friend. And, now that I actually think about it, I would never trade James Potter for anything. As much as I hate him, I love him way more. In a totally platonic way, of course.

I rolled my eyes and rose to my feet, but as soon as I did, I had wished that I had stayed on the gross and freezing floor. James' smile became mischievous and he elbowed me in the side. I let out a breath and then rubbed my now hurting ribs.

Jerk.

"So… Who were you daydreaming about?" He asked me as we started walking.

"Scorpius, y'know my cousin with the hot bod." was my answer. I was joking of course, but I didn't think I should tell anyone about my conversations with you.

What can I call you, anyways? What about Charlene? I've always hated that name… James would probably have thrown me into the loony bin. He's already threatened it multiple times.

James looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Um, that's like… Incest, or something. Isn't that illegal?"

"Well, actually, since he's my cousin, I would technically be allowed to marry him. Thats what a lot of people did back in the day."

"Oooohhhhkkkayyy…." James said, looking concerned.

I laughed. "You, my dear dicky best friend, are so weird. I'm not into my cousin, That's like you being into Lily."

He scrunched up his nose and stuck out his tongue, resembling something like a dead fish. "EWW!"

I nodded. "Mmm… Yeah. Gross… Wanna go eat something or mess with Cecelia?"

Greeeaaatt! Now I can't get images of Lily and James snogging out of my head.

SO. GROSS.

Oh, yeah. Cecelia is some bint that likes to bat her eyelashes at James. We like to mess with her. Its like, a sport, or some sort of strange tradition.

James shook his head. "Ella, we have quidditch practice tomorrow. I have to get ready."

I froze and slowly looked up at James, who was watching me with a small smile. "What?"

"We. Have. Quidditch. Practice. Tomorrow." He pretty much yelled in my face, quite slowly, as if speaking to a two year old.

"WHAAAAT?! ITS ONLY THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL!" Someone shouted from behind us. I recognize that scream.

IT'S MAEVE AND LILY! They're amazing, I love them...

Maeve is Albus's (James's little brother, who just so happen to be best buds with See-Pee-Us) girlfriend. They've been together since last year. They're so cute together. They were best friends, like me and James, and then when the sexual tension between them became too much for them to bear, they gave in and snogged like horny rabbits—apparently just to get another boy (a.k.a. Ravenclaw Hottie Sykes) jealous. (Do rabbits snog?) So, she and Albus went through a rough patch, but they got through it and they're actually together now. I think they're good for each other.

Oh, and Maeve isn't Irish. So, yeah.

"It was kind of a last minute thing." James said, turning around to face them.

"LAST MINUTE?" Lily shrieked."YOU THINK? WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME, YOU QUIDDITCH OBSESSED PEICE OF CRAP?" Her pretty face (which is exactly like Ginny Potter's) turned a bright, angry red. I would have laughed, if I didn't know that she was seriously angry. She has a mean bat-bogey hex (again, just like her mum).

Maeve flicked her rusty colored hair behind her and put her hands on her hips, her violet eyes narrowing. I wish my hair was like hers… I love her auburn hair. Its all wavy and curly and pretty, where as my hair is pin-straight and never curls longer than two seconds. Mine's like… My mum likes to say that my hair is 'strawberry blonde,' but whatever. I hate it. To me, it looks like peed on hay. The color reminds me of it, anyways.

And of course, my eyes are just plain and boring being brown. And Maeve has freaking purple eyes. Yes, I'm jealous...

"James! I thought you wanted to have try-outs first!" Maeve shouted.

"Are you smart, or what?" James retorted. "This is the tryouts!"

"Oh." she said lamely. Then she looked to the floor. "Well, then..."

James rolled his eyes. "Eh. Well, anyways, spread the word. I'll put up a notice in the common room." And then, he jogged away, leaving one angry Lily Potter, one embarrassed Maeve, and then… Well, me.

I admit it, its kind of annoying how he does everything on a whim, but… You get used to it. It doesn't even bother me so much anymore.

"Fuck." My voice rang out in the silent corridor.

Oops.

I lied.

It bugs the hell out of me.

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**A/N: I just tidied it up a bit. What do you think? LEAVE A REVIEW. I need them TO SURVIVE!**


	2. Muffins Galore

I said goodbye to Lily and Maeve and was heading down to the kitchens, alone.

I needed a muffin. And there's, like, muffin galore down in the kitchens...

Muffins are like drugs for me.

I can't live without them.

I NEED THEM TO SURVIVE.

Damn James Potter when he gets on about quidditch. He's _really _obsessed. I like quidditch just fine and would probably leave an audience with the Minister to play, but James is _seriously obsessed_, no pun intended. Once he starts, there's no stopping him...

"Oh, Miss Harpy!" A House Elf said in her squeaky voice. "You is here! But where is your Potty? You is never going anywhere without yous Potty." I couldn't help it, I giggled.

"Oh, um, hello, Dotty." I said, trying not to laugh.

Dotty always was the house elf to serve James and I. And she was fairly young, for a house elf, according to Rose (not that I really care all that much). She always calls James my 'Potty' and never really addressed him to his face. Albus and Lily were not as lucky. For them it was 'Miss and Mr. Pot'. James was always so annoyed about it, and I have reason to think that Dotty does it on purpose.

"He's somewhere prattling on about quidditch, I expect… Would I be able to get a muffin, Dotty?" I said, rolling my eyes, still annoyed at James.

Dotty nodded solemnly. "Oh. Yes, the flying balls. Your Potty does seem to love his flying balls."

I snigger. "Yeah, he does." She has no idea just how much he loves his 'flying balls'.

She hands me a muffin with a low bow. "Why is you not eating muffins with you's other friends, Miss Harpy? You is needing yous Potty to be happy?"

I stopped with my muffin halfway to my mouth, and Dotty's eyes got big and she hit herself with her fists on her tiny skull. "I… I is sorry, Miss Harpy. I is forgetting my place, Miss. It is none of Dotty's business, Miss Harpy. I is sorry."

I shook my head and put my muffin down. "No, its… alright, Dotty. Don't punish yourself. It's fine."

Dotty bowed and left me alone with my muffin and my thoughts. Pfftt... Me, needing James Potter to be happy… Pfftt! That's… Thats crazy… But, I am happy. I'm happy with James, because he's my best friend. He's like my brother.

My other friends… Here, I laughed softly (it would probably look creepy to a random bystander).

What other friends? I mean, I was friends with everyone. Everyone knows me and I'm friendly with everyone… But, really… Really, my closest friends were the Potter/Weasley clan (Which are: Victoire, Molly, Louis, Fred, James, Dominique, Albus, Rose, Lily, Lucy, Hugo, and Roxanne)

Okay, _fine_, so they're pretty much my only friends, with the exemption of Scorpius and Maeve… but that's okay. I'm pretty content with my (not-so-little) group of friends, because, really, if it came down to it, anyone of the Potters/Weasleys (and the other two nuts) I would trust with my life… my other 'friends'… Well, lets just say I think they would settle for drugging me and stuffing me in a sack of potatoes if it meant something good would come out of it for them. Talk about being selfish, right?

I quickly finished off my muffin (thank the Lord for these beautiful creations!), uttered a small goodbye to Dotty, and high-tailed it out of there, stealing a strawberry on the way out the door.

I breathed a sigh of relief that History of Magic was my last class for the day and made my way towards the common room. My feet hurt, but I ran, despite my protesting body and opened the portrait hole (the password was Fairy Lights) to find an interesting sight. Albus and Maeve…

Maeve was on top of Albus screaming… Oh, God, not like that, you twisted pervert! Get your mind out of the gutter!

Ick. Um, anyways, Maeve and Albus looked like they were wrestling, and Maeve was screaming, "Albus Potter, GIVE ME THE DAMN GUMMY BEARS!" Okay, so Albus had gummy bears that he was refusing to share. See, I told you that you would most likely hear about her obsession with gummy bears.

Gummy bears for Maeve are like what muffins are for me… She loves them. I think they might have marijuana baked into them or something with the way she eats them and pretty much… worships them...

I noticed that James had already put up a notice and some people were already crowded around it, albeit distracted because of the spectacle Maeve and Albus were creating. But I didn't see James anywhere.

I then got an epiphany. "I HAVE HAD AN EPIPHANY!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I succeed in getting a few weirded out stares, but mostly, everyone just ignored me.

I stood up on the table, where some fifth years were studying,.. Um, it's the first week of school, you nerds! Get a life!

One of them, I swear tried to look up my skirt. I kicked him. Nasty piece of shit…

"MAEVE, ALBUS! STOP FOR A MINUTE!" I screamed. They stopped and stared towards me, along with the entire inhabitants of the common room, which was pretty much all of Gryffindor.

"OKAY, YOU LOT! TRY-OUTS FOR THE QUIDDITCH TEAM ARE TOMORROW! ALL ARE WELCOME IF YOU CAN FLY A BROOM!" I saw a few first years look excited. Aw, they're cute. But no, they can't be on the team. Not that we need anyone else on the team. We already have an amazing butt-kicking team.

James is just weird and wants to disappoint a bunch of people. Thats where he finds his joy.

Yes, Charlene, I'm still annoyed with James. Can't you tell, you creepy stalker person inside my head? Why am I upset? I don't know, honestly… I just am. James annoys me.

"AND NO, YOU CANT BE A FIRST YEAR! ITS AGAINST THE RULES! SECOND YEARS AND UP! OH, AND TRY NOT TO SUCK TOO BADLY! WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW! FOR FURTHER INFORMATION SEE JAMES BLOODY POTTER OR READ THE NOTICE ON THE BOARD! PEACE OUT!"

I hopped off the table, gave the tosser who was mind-raping me a dirty look and flounced away and up to my dorm, leaving upset first years, moments away from crying, a silent common room, and James Potter standing in the entry way of the portrait hole, looking around, probably confused as to why it was so quiet.

He's severely lacking in brain cells.


	3. Abnormal Dinner Conditions

**A/N: Hope you like this one:) this was one of the easier ones to write. Let me know what you think! I LOVE REVIEWS!**

**PS—REVIEW OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!**

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Dinner was about as abnormal as it always is. I made my way there after I had went up to my dorm and took a quick shower, and by then, I didn't even know why I was so upset with James. Eh, maybe I'm PMSing. Okay, the fact that I thought of that is proof that I'm not...

Three of my roommates, Natasha, Kennedy, and Penelope were up there having 'girl time', so I escaped as quickly as was possible. Sometimes I joined them, but most of the time, it didn't appeal to me all that much. I would rather be out fooling around with James, Fred, and Dom than painting my nails and doing hair.

So, anyways, as I walked into the hall, I got a glimpse of Rose eating Scorpius's face from their spot at the Gryffindor table. Eww… thats so gross. I should not be subjected to watching my cousin snog. THAT'S HORRENDOUS!

Maeve seemed as if she was trying to teach Albus how to do a… cartwheel? What the hell? Albus was in the middle of the aisle with his hands held above his head, watching Maeve preform a perfectly executed cartwheel. I had a feeling that he wasn't so interested in learning to do a cartwheel. That boy just wanted to watch Maeve's arse! I rolled my eyes.

_Boys._

Fred was standing up on the bench at the Ravenclaw table yelling. "I WANT A BACON FLAVORED MUFFIN!"

I grinned at him and he sprinted towards me, smiling goofily. "Ellie-Belly!" He shouted, engulfing me in a humongous hug, spinning me around.

I laughed. "Fred! Put me down!"

"Never!" He shouted, maneuvering me so he was giving me a piggy-back ride. Yeah... He can just swing me over his shoulder, he's that much bigger than me.

He ran, with me still on his back, towards the spot near the end of the Gryffindor table where James was sitting with Lily, Hugo, and Lucy. And, there was a few random people, too.

It was only when Fred gently set me down on the bench that I noticed the weird look that James had on his face. I recognized that look. I looked around, confused.

Who is he jealous of? I see that look every time he sees Albus's broom, I know I'm not mistaken… (Albus has a Firebolt 5.0, that he got for his birthday, the newest edition, while James has a Firebolt 2, the Firebolt that came out last year… I'm jealous of them both. I have a Nimbus Two-Thousand and Five.)

I sat down and threw my arms around him. "Jamsie! Hows my bestest best friend doing?" His face broke into a grin as he looked down at me. I grinned back.

He shrugged. "I'm okay. How're you, Dora?" I elbowed him. I prefer to be called Ella, or Ellie, or even Els… Dora, well, I don't mind, its just that I don't particularly like it all that much. I guess he did it on purpose, though. I mean, I did call him _Jamsie_.

I disentangled myself from him, brushing my hair out of my eyes, and grabbed a huge serving bowl of mashed potatoes and just started eating them. There was sounds of protests from the people around me. I scowled around at them. "THIS IS ALL MINE, BITCHES!" Then, I did my evil laugh and earned myself a laugh from Fred and James and weirded out stares from others. They should be used to this. I mean, really, stuff way more awkward and scary happen every day, courtesy of James and Fred, plus any other members of their family who happen to be close enough to get sucked into it. "So…" I drew out the 'o', making the atmosphere a tinsy bit awkward. "Whats going on, my home skillin' biscuits?"

Lucy rolled her eyes at me, not even trying to hide it. "Why are you so weird? Were you dropped as a baby?"

Lily snorted and Hugo grinned at me. "Probably." I shrugged. "It's not like my mum would ever admit it, though, so I don't know for sure…"

Fred ruffled my hair and I threw him a dirty look, sticking out my tongue. "We love you anyways, though…Right James?" He grinned at James and James glowered—something I was not expecting. But then he turned to me and smiled. It was a sweet smile and I found myself smiling back, though I was feeling a bit light-headed. I think I seriously have the flu...

"Of course we love her." James said. I blinked. His voice was so… soft... but that isn't even the right word. But I could tell he meant it. "Even if she's a bit… sketchy."

He laughed and I rolled my eyes, grinning. "Shut up," I said, smacking his arm. He pouted playfully, rubbing his arm.

"Ow, Ella!" He stuck out his lower lip comically. "That hurt."

I rolled my eyes. Yes, I do that a lot. We all do. We're teenagers. That's what we do. "You'll get over it."

I stood up holding my bowl of mashed potatoes and turned to catch Lily exchanging some sort of conversation with Fred and the others. When they saw me looking they stopped and tried to look innocent. Ha! Like they could ever be innocent!

Hmm… Fishy, right?

I turned back to James. "Now," I said, dramatically. "I have to go up to bed because," I put my free hand on my hip and mock glared at him. "_SOMEONE_ felt like it was a good idea to have quidditch practice first thing in the morning on the first weekend here." I wagged my finger in his face. "And, that _someone_ should be going to bed as well."

"Yes, Ma'am!" He saluted me, but his eyes flickered towards Fred and Lily as well. We had one of those silent exchanges that we sometimes exchange—because we're best friends, so its natural we know what the other is thinking, though sometimes we can be wrong. He would find out what was going on, and then tell me, since obviously they were hiding something from me.

I waved to everyone. "I'm heading up. See you later…" Everyone waved and chorused goodbye, looking extremely sad that I was leaving, but I could see that they were doing internal happy dances—I would know because I do it all the time.

I gave one last meaningful glance to James and turned to head out of the hall, with my gold lined bowl filled with mashed potatoes, gripped tightly in my hands.

If anyone tried to take it from me, they would have to pry it from my cold, dead, lifeless hands.


	4. Twerps and Nerves

**A/N: I'm thinking that you peeps need to be reviewing... It's getting me sad! I might not continue this story if I don't have enough reviews... I seriously do need reviews. It keeps me motivated.**

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"Up! Up! Up!" James yelled to us—all the chasers that were trying out.

I give him the finger as I mount my broom and Lily follow suit, yelling out obscenities.

_Sigh._

We are such a good team of chasers. I don't know what we're going to do next year when we are split up. Well, when I'm gone…

(When I'm gooooonnneee! You're gonna miss me when I'm gone! When I'm gooonnnee! You're gonna miss me by my hair, you're gonna miss me everywhereeee! You're gonna miss me when I'm gone!)

She'll still be here, flying her little heart out while I'm working overtime just to buy myself a piece of toast…

_Sigh. _

Depressing, that is. But thats what you get when you actually grow up. I'm so totally sad that this is my last year of… _not_ being grown up…

Anyways, James had try-outs for the team and _(shock!)_ so far, the team from last year hadn't changed a bit. Maeve was still the keeper, Albus was still the seeker. Fred and Huxley (his first name is Jared, I just hate that name, so I call him by his surname) were still the beaters.

And, James, being the captain, was one of the chasers. Lily and I were going to be the other chasers, and if I had to knock some poor little 2nd years to do it, I would! This is my last year of freedom and I am going to live life to the fullest (while I can)! James would be so proud of me.

"Ella, heads up!" Lily yelled. I didn't know what she meant, but I ducked anyways. Apparently, that was the right thing to do, because I heard a swoosh of a bludger right next to my ear.

"GOOD LORD, ELS! YOU ARE RUUUUSSSTYYY!" James yelled out to me from his perch in the stands, where he was watching us.

"Hey! Stick it up your ass, Potter!" I screamed back. This is retarded. Why do I need to try out? I've been on the fucking team since I was thirteen years old!

As I ducked underneath another bludger and swerved around some little third year, I came to this conclusion: James Potter is a fucker. A big one. And, you are more than welcome, Charlene, to take his place as my best friend.

Lily ripped the quaffle from some little twerp's hands and passed it to me. I flew around the other twerps (I felt bad. They looked like they were close to crying) and shot towards the goal. I scored, surprisingly. I never scored on Maeve. It just wasn't humanly possible! It wasn't until I just hovered there for a minute trying to grasp the full reality of what had just happened, that I saw Maeve wink at me.

My face probably showed my surprise, or well, lack of surprise, really. That was seriously the only way I would ever get a goal on Maeve.

If she let it in, that is.

Or if she was too distracted by Albus. But, yeah, even all Albus-focused, she could still save some pretty decent shots. We don't know how she does it. She's like, the freakin' Michael Jordan of Quidditch. Its amazing.

Oh, yeah. Thats a good question. How do I know all these muggle terms and things?

Well, Maeve is muggleborn. Her dad owns a pub in Ireland, where they live. But, as I have said before, Maeve _isn't_ Irish. Sure, she looks Irish. She's got the freckles, the albino-ey skin, and the auburn hair, but… She swears she's not Irish.

I'll quote her for you… "ALBUS FUCKING POTTER! JUST BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN IRISH ACCENT, LIVE IN IRELAND, AND HAVE AN IRISH SKIN-COMPLEX DOESN'T MEAN I'M IRISH! GO TO HELL, POTTER! AND NO, BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, JUST BECAUSE ME DA LOOKS LIKE THE TYPICAL IRISH PUB OWNER, DOESN'T MEAN HE IS! WE ARE NOT IRISH!"

Yep, she's pretty hard-core when it comes to her nationality. We don't understand it. But, hey, thats what makes Maeve… Maeve.

She's introduced me and Fred to the muggle radio, which sadly doesn't work here, at Hogwarts. But at home, my mother ships me off the Aunt Astoria when Adele becomes too much for her to handle. She says its 'garish' (Can music be garish? I'm not even sure that I know what that means). And Fred, at random moments, bursts into song. And muggle whiskey? Its not bad. It has nothing on fire whiskey, though.

Maeve's dad is, as said, a muggle, Irish pub owner (who's not Irish). But, on the side, he's obsessed with American basketball and baseball cards. I don't know why. He just is… And he said that Michael Jordan was legendary. So, yeah…

Hope that explanation is worthy of you, Charlene.

After a couple more rounds, James called us down and I grinned as he shot me a smile. I wasn't going to be cut. I'm just too awesome.

Oh, God! I'm turning into a cocky bitch! James Potter, you are such a bad influence! ARRGGGHH! (I'm a pirate!)

"Well, that was some very good flying!" James announced, his eyes still on mine. My stomach once again, as it had yesterday in the History of Magic classroom, felt weird… Almost like… I was nervous? Why am I nervous? I know I'm going to make the team… Oh, God, I think I might puke… I'm never nervous! WHY THE HELL AM I NERVOUS?! I'M SO NERVOUS!

And suddenly, it seemed as though everyone was looking in my direction. Oh, wait… They WERE. And James was blinking in surprise. "Um, what the hell are you staring at?" I asked. And as James' eyes seemed to crinkle around the edges, like they always did before he laughed, I realized they _were_ staring at me. Oh, no… I hadn't said that out loud, had I?

Oh, Merlin. I could feel my face heating up... I'm not blushing.

Really, I'm not.

Fred was my savior. "OOOOHHH, ME TOO! SOOO NERVOUS! JAMES PICK ME! PICK ME! OOOOHH! JAMES PICK ME! PLEASSEEE!" He waved his arms comically, jumping up and down.

James looked like he was struggling to hold back his laughter, which I don't doubt in the slightest. "Alright, thats enough." He said, laughter clearly heard in his voice. "These are this years chasers…" He paused and cleared his throat dramatically. "LILY POTTER!" He yelled, bowing as if he had just preformed some sort of miracle. Lily jumped up and hugged her brother, screaming.

"THANK GOD, JAMES! I LOVE YOU!" James chuckled and hugged her back for a moment, before Lily seemed to remember where she was and how it wasn't exactly _not_ mortally embarrassing to be fourteen and be hugging your older brother.

She then turned bright red and to save her pride and reputation, probably, she kicked James in the shin. "Ha! Thats for making me go through try-outs, you lump of shit."

James rolled his big, brown eyes and ran a hand through his messy black hair. "ANNNDDD," He yelled. He paused and he winked at me. My stomach fluttered. "ELLADORA HARPER!"

I grinned and held up my fist in victory. I was so happy that I looked over the fact that he called me by my full name.

I was really tempted to rub it in the other competitors faces, but most of them were 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years. That would be a really bad role model moment for me.

There was a bunch of older kids though. And they looked murderous. It made me feel good. 'HA HA HA HA! IM BETTER THAN YOU! SUCK IT!' was my internal-happy-dance-chant.

"Nice job, today guys. Really. You guys were awesome." James called to all the students walking dejectedly (and some angrily) away.

As soon as they were gone, he turned back to the Gryffindor team of 2021 and grinned. "Alright. Nice job, team."

"What the hell, James?" Maeve said right away. there's no beating around the metaphorical bush with that chick. i knew there was a reason she was one of best friends "That was such a waste of time."

"Yeah." Huxley agreed. "It's common knowledge that we're the best damn team out there. You knew that, you dolt."

James shrugged. "I didn't _know_. I had to find out if you were really the best ones for the team. If there was someone out there that was better…" He shrugged again, then smiled at Maeve. "And it was good practice, yeah?"

Maeve huffed and dragged Albus, who was smiling amusedly, back up to the changing rooms. The rest of the team followed, after James dismissed us, saying, "Go on, I'll let you all know when the next practice is."

I stayed behind with him to clean up the gear. "Ah. Sweet success." I sighed to him, running to pick up the quaffle.

"I really didn't doubt that you would get the position. You're an amazing player. _Almost_ as good as I am." He laughed.

I raised an eyebrow and shoved his shoulder. "Hmm…" I said, rolling my eyes.

He shook his head, becoming serious. "I'm not joking. You could go pro, Els." He came closer to me and put his arm around me. He looked down, (like three feet because of the height difference. I'm not short, he's just freakishly tall! I will deny being short until the day I die. Although, I am only 5' 1".) right into my eyes. His brown eyes softened and his mouth curved into a smile. "You're amazing on a broom, Ella. This year, there's some scouts coming to watch games and I _know_, they'll see how great you are. No, really, I do." He added when I rolled my eyes again.

He tightened his arm around me and kissed my temple. See? He would kiss Lily like that. We're just close friends… "You'll see, Ella. I'm always right. I get it from my Aunt Hermione."

Um he's like, not even biologically related to her. I told him that, but he just grinned.

And, I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face as he said those words, no matter how hard I tried.

I pushed him away, so roughly that he tripped up a bit. i held back a not-so-Ella-like giggle and ran away towards the changing rooms. "That was for calling me Elladora, Potter!" He ran after me, his loud laughter ringing through the night, mingling with mine.

As we got back to the changing rooms, I slipped into the girls' side and quickly took a shower, after having an all out tickling match with James. I smelled like horse dung. Or maybe cow crap… does it matter?

Anyway, by the time I had finished, no one else was in the changing rooms. So, I decided to head back to the castle, thinking that James had gotten tired of waiting. Really, though, I can't blame him. Even my 'quick' showers take like five hours. It would be pretty hard for me to wait that long, especially since I'm pretty sure I'm A.D.D. or A.D.H.D.. But it's not like I even know the difference.

I want a muffin. A chocolate chip one, with sugar on the top… All fluffy and moist… Or maybe a blueberry one.

I was so focused on my mental muffin that I tripped on something. "EEP!" I squeaked, as I sprawled out on the cold, hard ground. (OHH! OHHH! TROUBLE, TROUBLE, TROUBLE! I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALKED IN!)

"Oh, shit! Sorry, Els." A deep voice said in my ear as strong arms helped me up.

"James?" I questioned, squinting. "What the hell are you doing out here?" It may be September, but damn! It gets cold at night! And, it was already 9:00 P.M.

In the dim lighting of his wand, (I'm so smart, I didn't even think to use mine as I was walking back to the castle.) I saw his face flush slightly. James Potter… blushing? Holy crap, James never blushes! I looked concernedly up at him. "Um, James? Were you waiting for me?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, something he only does when he's nervous.

Why the fuck would he be nervous? Boys are now the puzzle of the century. I swear, I mean, guys think we're complicated? Pfftt…

"Well, yeah. I mean, I figured I would…" He trailed off and I bit my lip, looking down at my feet, clad in pink bunny slippers. Yes, I was outside in pink, fluffy bunny slippers. Don't judge me!

And, no, Charlene, I didn't play quidditch in them. God, grow a brain! I have a locker in the changing rooms, where I keep all my quidditch stuff so they don't smell up my dorm.

It became awkward. We were never awkward. Okay, fine, we're perpetually awkward, but never with each other. We're James and Ella, for Merlin's sake! We're best friends! We can talk about anything!

...So, why can't we?

Well, I'll tell you something, Charlene. I have come to a conclusion. Here it is: Something is very wrong with this boy. Very wrong.

And I want to find out what has him in such a confuzzled and awkward state.

To ease the tension and awkwardness, I grinned at him and started walking, and he followed. "So, what were Fred, Lily, and the others talking about that they didn't want me to hear? You know, the other night at dinner?"

James didn't speak for a moment and I thought I saw something like panic cross his features. But it was only there for a second, then it was gone.

Or it could have not happened at all. It's dark out here, you know.

"Um, nothing really. They were just… gossiping." My brow furrowed.

"Without me? Why am I not allowed to know? I love gossiping!" So true, so true.

"Well," I could see him searching for something to say. "It kind of pertains to you." He finally said, looking as if he was bracing for an explosion. Good for him, he's learning.

"What do you mean?" My voice was low and James knows what that means. I'm a dangerous butt-kicking, explosive ninja that can smell lies.

But I don't think there's going to be an explosion tonight. I'm too tired.

"Well… Um, maybe I'll tell you one day." He looked at me strangely and I raised my eyebrows, thoroughly confused. What the fudge does that mean? We finally made it to the doors, and as we slipped in, I tapped James on the shoulder. "What?" He questioned, looking over at me.

I was going to grill him about why he was being weird and all puzzley, but I chickened out at the last minute.

Instead, I pushed him and yelled out, "TAG, YOU'RE IT!" And ran away, laughing maniacally.

I'm not crazy... And no, being a figment of my imagination, you are not aloud to judge me!


End file.
